Full Spring Ahead
I’m writing this “spring update” on Memorial Day weekend- the unofficial start of the summer season- but we’re here! Spring 2026 was, in a word, full. Full of work. Full of memories. Full of prayers, and questions, and answers…as clear as they may ever seem. 😂 I preface all of this with a few sweeping statements:
One foot in treatment/cancer land, one foot in "real life” looks different than it used to.
My body and brain used more energy than they have in a long time. It went surprisingly well!
Answered prayers continue to come in a variety of packages!
Adapting to Change
So much of my life in the past few months has been pivot, after pivot, after pivot. (I reposted this newsletter recently to remind myself that pivoting is indeed, an opportunity. Linked if you missed it!) My work schedule has changed almost monthly. (No worries- I’m still at church and the literacy nonprofit. But my nonprofit days have evolved a few times this semester.) 🤪 For a routine-loving girl like me, it was quite the challenge. As soon as I felt settled, like I’d finally reorganized our life enough to smooth the wrinkles, I’d start all over. Working evenings is just a learning experience for me. When do I actually cook dinner? How can I plan our grocery list to fit a budget, and be healthy, and logistically fit our needs for leftovers three nights out of five? (Got any secrets, friends? Let me know!)
Throw in scans, infusions, insurance calls, and medical needs of a metastatic breast cancer thriver, and you have quite the unpredictable-yet-very-full calendar…and brain, haha.
Some answered prayers and lovely surprises bloomed in this season:
Extra paying work- huzzah!
Graduated from Stephen Ministry Training 🎉
Sweet Tuesday morning writing sessions at coffee shops
Morning walks as the sun rose
Continued growth in business and speaking- when I didn’t really do much to achieve that!
Gradual release of expectations for myself, and just going with the flow.
In wild seasons, I am constantly reminded that I can’t control everything. (This is hilariously common for me.) My instinct, my personality, is to control what I can. I spend so much time and energy trying to “max out” the resources that I’ve been given. Thinking that surely a detailed schedule, enough lists and motivation will keep everything in place. (Of course I can work-out, manage 2 jobs, make dinner, do laundry, post strategically on Instagram, and build a small business with a smile- duh!) #justkidding 😅
But time and energy are resources to steward wisely, along with everything else God provides. Throughout the spring, I had to surrender over and over again. And confess, and repent, over and over again. Pivoting keeps me close to Jesus. This season reminds me every day that I can only do what He asks of me. Besides that, I can only do it with His help. God dreams don’t depend on how efficiently I can time-block, or how much protein I eat. They’ll happen in His time, no matter what I do. Certainly I try- of course I try!- but here’s the secret: it’s never enough. And reaching that realization was really helpful for me. In this season, I’m called to spend my time and energy with real people, in real time, for the majority of my time. It made me sad that I had less creativity and flexibility for writing, dreaming, and building online. I trust that God will hold all of those platforms for me while I love people He has physically put in front of me.
Dreaming dreams is a scary business, friends. Saying them out loud make them more fragile. But walking through my cancer journey has taught me that nothing is forever, and everything is something. There is value here and now, even if it looks different from what I’d hoped. God is still holding me, loving me, and providing all I need. So if I need physical stamina, He’s sending it! If I need rest, He provides it! And maybe part of the way I find it is by sitting down the random things I've insisted on carrying around. I chuckle imagining a toddler stubbornly dragging an arm-load of trinkets out the door. (Hi, it’s me!) Self-doubt. Perfectly scheduled social posts. A weekly podcast episode, even if I have nothing to say. When I gave myself permission to just do what was absolutely necessary in this season, I magically noticed…
The capacity for Sunday naps
The potential in our crockpot
How quickly the days passed
Giggles, love, and happy dinners at home with Andrew and Moo 🥰
And if that wasn’t enough…
Highlight Reel
I can’t claim credit for any of these exciting events, but I do want to preserve them here for my digital scrapbook. I think these are evidence that when God kicks open a door, it’s wide open! In a season when I could only look at one day at a time, He was so kind to allow me the opportunities to:
Speak four times and share Still Good Co. with others in the month of March. (WHAT?!)
Collaborate with Our Little Peas to invite preschool families into community service.
Enjoy so much family time
Ongoing Prayers
Any cancer news, Caitlan? Thankfully, not much! 😮💨 We had a little scare in April. I suddenly started dropping things and noticed I had to pay attention to my grip for the first time in years. My neuropathy had mostly gone away, so this was surprising. I also noticed some nerve pain in my feet and legs. After a “Let’s just be safe” Brain MRI, we’re all clear! This ruled out another brain tumor, which was the first and scariest option it could have been. My podiatrist blames- wait for it- bunions for my nerve pain and recommended surgery. I’d love for that to be the root of all these issues, but I’m not yet convinced. 🤔 For now, I’m trying to wear better shoes and focus on self-care. Nerve pain persists.
Oh my goodness- this post is soooo long. I feel like I say this every post haha- but I really do appreciate you taking precious time out of your day to hang out with me. Some posts are more tactical, others more spiritual, and some (like today) are purely life updates. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have a bus-load of virtual cheerleaders in my life. I appreciate you! 🥰
Thanks for reading along here (cancer updates and life scrapbook), on Substack (newsletter archive), and in the Goodness and Grace Newsletter!
