Summer of Exploring
I’ve noticed a pattern, friends. For better or worse, I tend to reevaluate my life in the summer. 🤪 It’s as if I hold my breath, “Keep calm and carry on” August through May. I’m hardwired to not make sweeping changes during the school year if I can help it. Summer, though, is the time! Something in my brain feels the need to take stock of anything that could move or shift.
I wanted to spend time with God this summer, specifically searching for future direction. I feel fairly settled with my little routine of part time jobs, growing Still Good Co, and sharing what He’s doing in my life on the internet. They are beautiful opportunities and I’m so grateful for each of them. And…I wanted to be sure I was stewarding them well. When things start to feel clunky or slow, my heart is so quick to ask, “Who am I to make a life this way? What is this? Should I really ________?” I randomly remember that grown-up’s pursue careers, or make decisions based on their responsibilities. Shouldn’t I get a full time job? Even if I’d hate it or feel physically and emotionally strained? Am I enjoying this season of life too much? Shouldn’t I have more to show than this?
…more than what? More than this beautiful life I’ve been given??
Thinking back over this summer, it was such a kaleidoscope of blessings!
Tuesday morning walks with my friend, Hailey
Private tutoring at the library, and seeing so many people I knew!
Pool and beach days with my sweet Andrew 😘
Marveling over gorgeous flowers, and even growing our own!
Finding the perfect pair of shorts
Reading “The Artist’s Way” under the shady trees in our backyard.
Grilling on our back porch
The energy, time and motivation to declutter our house 👏
Checks in the mail or calls with connections just when I needed them! 🥹
Clear scans- again!
…and so much more. I am so quick to want to define success in this life by earthly measuring sticks. The achiever in me struggles always with the need to prove my worth, or justify how I’m spending my time. One morning, as I sat under the shady trees in our backyard, I anxiously asked God how I should spend my summer. What projects should I tackle? What business moves should I make? I didn’t want to waste this season, but felt such decision fatigue. I had no idea where to start. Instead, I found my pen writing, “Summer of Exploration.” Out of nowhere, I felt lighter. The permission to just try new things, to resume old things, to sign up for that a webinar to learn a new skill, start something just for fun! And you know what? I did!
I am reminded (again) to just be here, right where God has planted me. I still can’t see where I’m going, and it’s so frustrating. And yet, when I look down at where my feet are, it’s beautiful and more than I could ever want. Of course I wish cancer wasn’t part of my story. Of course I wish we were starting a family. AND…I’m just taking one step at a time, and know God is holding my hand every step of the way. I trust He will continue to provide all I need for what He has called me to do. If it’s not from Him, I don’t want it! I don’t want to force fit what is not in His will for me, neither do I have to overhaul my life. (That’s the lesson of the summer! haha) It hasn’t fallen apart. God’s holding it together.
God of mercy, sweet Love of mine
I have surrendered to Your design
May this offering stretch across the skies
And these hallelujahs be multiplied
Your love is like radiant diamonds
Bursting inside us, we cannot contain
Your love will surely come find us
Like blazing wild fires singing Your name
-”Multiplied” by Needtobreathe
So we carry on! Even if this season isn’t what you hoped or anticipated, I invite you to look where your feet are. 🥰 Really look! What glimmers of goodness has God lovingly placed in your life? What makes you smile? What’s slowly improving? What’s giving you hope? Each and every one are sweet gifts from above!
