Growth and Goodness
Hi, hello!! I have emerged from the blur of May and June and “end of school” and Vacation Bible Camp and treatment and scans and LIFE. HUZZAH! I am so thankful. A few exciting updates for you:
Celebrating 6 Months NED! 🤩
Andrew and I got amazing reports from my June CT scans: NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE! It was a beautiful, easy scan day. We had a smooth experience at the hospital, a great day of activities and coffee, and returned home to an amazing sunset. (I mean, what a day!) To top it all off, the results read “No evidence of metastatic disease.” Hallelujah! If you recall, I decided to start my “NED Clock” in December. (You can read about that here!) While I never got a clear green light or certificate of reaching this stage of healing, I decided to claim it for myself. It feels surreal to say that our clock has ticked all the way to June with no surprises/shadows/blips on scans. I hold this loosely, with a grateful heart, thanking God for all His tender care. ❤️️
So Much Growth and Goodness
This time last year, I was still rocking a super short haircut and facemasks. I was just stepping out into more church activities and meetings, taking life in short spurts. What a difference a year makes! Now that I have time to breathe and actually soak it up, it’s amazing to “count to fruit.” May I share a few with you?
I helped with end of year testing at school, and actually went three days in a row! (Wowee!) I was exhausted, but my mind and body did it.
I tucked away a few memories in my heart: soaking up the success of my first year back in a school in 4 years, remembering something I love doing, and the opportunity to experience it all on a level that’s just right for me in this season. 😭 It wasn’t perfect, but I love that I can still celebrate those gifts.
I finished Season 1 of “The Goodness and Grace Podcast!” I have a super fun idea for a summer series, and plan to return for Season 2 in the fall. I also reworked my book proposal for my CaringBridge story! I have some creative ideas I want to work on this summer, and promise to keep you posted! 😉
I stepped a little further into my church’s VBC! Last summer, I only participated in short spurts. This year, I was able to help plan, show up, and be there for 98% of it. Best part of all, I really enjoyed it! As with any event planning, somewhere in the middle I started questioning all my life decisions. (LOL) But the end was beautiful! It is not lost on me that I have the margin to see that, to keep it in perspective, and experience the family of God without letting stress cloud my vision. That has not always been the case! What a gift.
I spoke at a meeting in front of 50 people! I got nervous- and super sweaty! 😂- but I coherently shared my information, made small talk, and did all that “people-ing.” Just as I was wishing I could tell my speech therapist what I’d done, a sweet friend came up to me and said, “I’m just so proud of you!” 🥰️
I am finally the proud carrier of an ID that looks like me! When I changed my name after the wedding, I had to take an ID photo without my glasses or hat. I could barely recognize myself, and it was a somewhat traumatic experience. (Can you imagine asking a cancer patient to take off their beanie in the middle of the DMV? Yikes!) When my driver’s license was due for renewal, I actually got really excited! My new picture looks a little more like me- hair, lashes, and a smile!
Sadly, two of my therapists are leaving Levine’s. Looking over our time together, I’ve made so much growth! Perhaps one day I’ll share more details about that, but for today: I used to have so much fear and anxiety in my heart, and very little hope for one area of my life. With God’s grace, help, and time, things are so much better. While I wish this chapter wasn’t over, I’m thankful to see how far we’ve come!
I never seem to run out of “fruit” to count. God never seems to stop working, healing, or improving. Over and over again, I just stand back in awe of all He’s done! I probably sound like a broken record, but it’s really true. From huge blessings like six months NED, to smaller ones like having a better attitude, just really better my daily experience. I can see every small way He’s reminding me of His provision and faithfulness. When I worry about the future or mull over insecurities, He gently resurfaces memories as if to say, “Remember this… Remember when…” I pray I keep storing up fruit to count, ready to revisit it when I need to most. ❤️️
“Lord my God, you have done many things—
your wondrous works and your plans for us;
none can compare with you.
If I were to report and speak of them,
they are more than can be told!” -Psalm 40:5
