Who’s That Girl?
Well guess who finally has news to share? This girl! 😂 I’m typing this on a very cozy, drizzly afternoon- snoozing cat, steaming tea, all my favorite things. On one hand, life is comfortingly familiar and anchors me to what I know. One the other hand, so many things have shifted and evolved in the past month. I find myself looking down and thinking, “What IS this??” Here we go, friends!
Monthly Immunotherapy: At my last post, the treatment plan was immunotherapy every two weeks. (Chemo dropped) We have been promoted to a double dose only one time a month! (whaaaaat) 👀 For 16 months, Andrew and I drove to Charlotte every Tuesday night, spent the night with my parents, and had treatment Wednesday mornings. We had a routine, and it made for a short and predictable week. All of a sudden, we have nowhere to be! I’m slowly remembering what it means to live in the same house for more than 4 days at a time. I can actually unpack the suitcase, we do actually need groceries every week- crazy little things, you know?
Side Effects Improving: Dropping the chemo brought an amazing improvement to all things, but I definitely don’t feel as good as I’d like. Tummy is much happier, my peach fuzz is slowly growing, and I am sleeping much better. I can’t decide if I’m more tired, or if I just have enough energy to be dangerous. 😂 (A marathon morning of errands seems more doable, so I actually try it! … and then it takes me out)
Giggle-worthy: My hot flashes rage on like nothing has changed- including the time! I predictably flash at 7:00 and 11:00, AM and PM- or shall I say, 6:00 and 10:00 now? My body is so confused.
Activity: With a little more energy and a lot more time, I feel like a whole new person. I feel so- dare I say it- “normal!” I can happily exercise every morning, get ready, clean a few things, organize a closet, and make dinner before Andrew comes home from work. What a gift! I can actually do the homey things that I once had to stretch across a week. We can meet up with friends whenever, not just 1 particular Saturday a month. I can technically have sushi and wine whenever- I just haven’t yet. (Let’s book that! LOL) Every day I notice something new that I can do again, or faster, or better than before. I’m so thankful!
I saved the best for last, you guys. 😍 Remember in my last post, I mentioned my “stepping out” may become something more official? I have to be annoyingly vague for one more post today, but it fell into place so I can now say: I have a part-time job! 🥳️
All (most) of the details: I was offered an itty, bitty 10 hour per week opportunity at the perfect time. #Jesus I wasn’t looking for anything, and had actually just settled my paperwork to be out of teaching this year. I’ve always daydreamed about the things I could do “If chemo would just go away…” - Well here we are! I got a phone call literally the next week. I was so surprised. Here’s what I can share today:
It’s not in education, but I can put my teacher skills to good use!
It’s in person, but with a pretty small team. (I’m still immunocompromised, so that helps.)
It’s with people I know and a place that I love.
I get to go for about 2 hours each morning. This is a really great fit for my mental and physical stamina!
If you thought it took paperwork to be written out of work, just try to hop back in! (haha) In the end, it took about 4 weeks for this to all fall into place. I had to be sure this wouldn’t jeopardize my state paperwork, but I also had to get my medical team’s approval. Post-Brain Tumor Caitlan comes with a lot of restrictions and details. 😂
Sometimes, having such a big team can feel cumbersome. Messages, requests, and appointments have to be relayed and double booked and rebooked. It’s a lot. But I am so surrounded by care and support! I knew that the team would be just as excited/nervous for me as I was, and I felt so safe. My brain is in excellent care with my neuropsych team. We talked through all the job details, what support I should ask for, etc etc.
Today was my very first day, and I have to say that I am SO excited! I was able to intake a lot of new information without getting overwhelmed. I used my strategies from cognitive therapy to help me remember things. I organized a to-do list in priority order, and I clarified how/when I should ask future questions. All the little things that used to be second nature to me just take more effort now. I CAN do them, just in a different way. Perhaps the best part of this gig is that it’s only 2 hours at a time. I was able to come home before I ran out of gas…and promptly fell asleep on the couch. 😂
Who is this girl??? Chemo free, body healing, leaving the house for a j-o-b, cooking dinner, and even writing a newsletter and blogging on her own website! Life is crazy, and God is so, so good. Last fall, I prayed for a chance to live in a rosy, sparkling hybrid life- no chemo, but no teacher stress. I didn’t know if that was even possible, or in the picture for me. But looking around, I think it’s happening. ♥️
Last note: If you missed it, my TV interview aired October 31! You can watch it here.
